The emotional cost of keeping global trade moving

The shipping industry can tell you how many ships it has, how many seafarers it needs and how many containers it moves. What it still cannot tell you with confidence is how many marriages life at sea is costing.   A 2014 survey by the Nautilus Federation found that nearly one in three seafarers had experienced a serious relationship breakdown directly linked to time away from home. Earlier UK Merchant Navy research indicated divorce rates 20–30% higher than the national average, while ongoing maritime labour studies consistently rank relationship instability among the top personal challenges faced by crew.   While hard global divorce data for seafarers remain elusive, evidence from academic studies, welfare organisations and maritime support groups points to a profession facing above-average relationship strain, with consequences extending beyond family life into mental health, retention and safety.

Research from Croatia, China and across the tanker sector consistently identifies long separations, work-family conflict, loneliness and difficult homecomings as recurring challenges. A 2021 multinational tanker study found almost half of married seafarers screened positive for general psychiatric disorders, while longer contracts increased the risk of depression.

Welfare organisations are seeing the trend firsthand. ISWAN reports a sharp rise in calls linked to relationship difficulties, with family and relationship problems now among the most common personal issues raised through its support services.   “We have seen an increase in calls related to relationship issues among seafarers and their partners or spouses in recent years,” said Chirag Bahri, ISWAN’s international operations manager. He said the organisation’s Family Outreach Programme was created to help families better understand the realities of life at sea and improve communication between seafarers and loved ones.

The underlying causes are well known: months away from home, uncertain crew-change schedules, poor shore leave, financial pressures and the challenge of maintaining family relationships through intermittent connectivity.

“Seafarers carry immense guilt for being away during milestones or emergencies. In turn, spouses often hide problems to protect the seafarer’s mental state, knowing they are in a high-risk environment operating heavy machinery,” said Gavin Lim, programme manager at Sailors’ Society,   Lim said one of the biggest problems arises when seafarers return home after long deployments.   “For six to nine months, the spouse at home is effectively running the household,” Lim said. “When the seafarer returns, clashes over routines and household authority are incredibly common.”

Lim said another challenge stems from communication patterns at sea.

“We encourage couples to share the mundane details of daily life, not just crises or good news,” he said. “That helps build grounded intimacy and understanding.”      Technology has eased some pressures but introduced others. According to ISWAN, 98% of seafarers use smartphones during their leisure time and 80% use rest hours to communicate with family. Yet greater connectivity can also mean seafarers become entangled in domestic problems they are powerless to resolve from thousands of miles away.

Steven Jones, founder of the Seafarers Happiness Index, told Splash that relationship breakdown remains one of shipping’s least-discussed welfare issues.

“The most profound cost of a career at sea is often not fatigue or risk exposure, but relationships strained by distance, uncertainty and emotional isolation,” Jones said.

Jones noted that seafarers effectively live in “two distinct realities” – life onboard and life ashore – with the gap between the two creating unique pressures rarely experienced in shore-based professions. Relationship crises at sea can be especially acute because crew members are isolated from traditional support networks and often have nowhere to turn beyond colleagues and welfare organisations.      There are signs of resilience. Many couples adapt successfully through structured communication, strong family support networks and careful planning around leave periods. Some shipping companies have also introduced family engagement programmes and improved internet access to help maintain relationships.      Still, the evidence increasingly suggests relationship strain is more than a private matter. Emotional distress affects concentration, wellbeing, retention and ultimately operational safety.      “Seafaring will always involve sacrifice, that is part of a profession defined by distance, but acknowledging the relational cost is vital if the industry is serious about sustainability, not just of ships and supply chains, but of the people whose lives are lived between home and sea, between happiness and despair, love and loneliness,” Jones concluded.